Junk Mail Never Saw This Coming

> From: markcole@extentionsofnadias.net
> Subject: Hello
> Date: Sat, 20 Jun 2009 19:10:33 +0100
>
> MY NAME IS PASTOR MARK COLE,AM ON A CHRISTIAN MISSION,WE HAVE A FEMALE TEA YORKSHIRE TERRIER WHICH WE CAME ALONG WITH,WE FOUND OUT THAT THE WEATHER OVER THERE IS BAD FOR THEM,WE DO NOT WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE OUR REAL BABIES AND WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SPEND MUCH TIME AS WE DO WITH THEM BEFORE AND WE WILL NOT ABLE TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM THE WAY WE ALWAYS DO BECAUSE OF OUR JOB ON THE CHRISTIAN MISSION OUT OF THE COUNTRY. THEY ARE HOME RAISED,HOUSE BROKEN,VACCINES& HEALTH GUARANTEE.WE NEED A SOMEONE TO ADOPT THEM AND TAKE CARE OF HER FOREVER THE WAY WE ALWAYS DO,WE DO NOT KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE US TO GET BACK,SO IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ADOPT HER TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER FOR EVER,I WILL SEND YOU REPLY YOU WITH HER PICTURES. I HOPE TO READ
> FROM YOU. REMAIN BLESSED.
> Contact me for more details:
> Warmest Regards,
> MARK COLE




My Reply

Hey Mark,
Thanks you for thinking of me out of everyone in the whole wide world to be the one that helps these innocent little pups out. Unfortunately I have some bad news, I can not live, take care of, or just plain be around anything of old Yorkshire Heritage. Being Born in New York I detest all things that are of Old York, I mean they are pretty much the butt of every joke back in the neighborhood.
Things like how many Old Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one old yorker to screw it in and two old yorkers to form a parliament about it. Once again I wish I could help.
Better Luck Next Time
Mike
P.S. Thanks for typing in all Caps, I really appreciated it.

(If by some magical way I get a response from this guy you can bet your bottom dollar its gonna be up here and replied to again.)



Also I asked myself a question:
Dear Mike How do you play the octave lead for machine head on guitar?

Reply
Good question mike. I searched the magical internet and came up with this
E|--------------------------------------|
B|--------------------------------------|
G|--6--6--8--8--8--9--11-11-11-XX-----|
D|--X--X--X--X--X--X--X--X--X--XX----|x10
A|--4--4--6--6--6--7--9--9--9--XX-----|
E|--------------------------------------|

Have Fun Rocking out
Mike