I got two submissions for the three people who may or may not be reading this. First comes from some dude named Gilbert, and the Second from a friend who we will call "Jack".
La Pregunta Número Uno:
Howdy!
Just wanted to get your viewpoints - opinions on the passing of Michael Jackson: Like him? Hate him? Musical Icon? Creepy child molester? Genius? Lunatic? Did you have a favorite song? You ever see him perform live?
I'm gonna put together a page on the website regarding what people here in the Las Vegas music scene had to say about him. Should be posted on Tuesday, so answer back ASAP, OK?
Thanks!
Gilbert
Reply:
Yo Gilbert, What Up? So I've been bored and tired today since I had to get up and make a trip to the airport at 6 this morning, so I've been lounging around cruising the television and it seems that about 65-78% of the channels were reporting about Michael Jackson's death. Now the guy had some great songs, can't deny that, but he was also brought to court twice for child molestation and who can forget the wonderful dangling baby incident. I'm sick of hearing about it and honestly I think he killed himself. Most likely by taking too many pain pills or something to the likes of. So all I have to say about his death is I'm fuckin over it, lets move on, he was no Steve Irwin and that's for damn sure.
Thanks,
Mike
La Pregunta Número Dos:
"Yo this guy has all the answers. So how do I get a lap dance for free?"
from
"Jack"
Reply:
Dear "Jack"
There are a coupe of ways to get a free lap dance, all with a central theme. That theme is, Now everyone say it with me, DECEPTION. If you are up in the club and want to get a free dance you must have a wing man or at least be super confident cause you will have to act your ass off. It will involve working the sympathy angle, best option in my book is act mentally retarded or handicapped if the materials are granted. Have a buddy talk to the stripper for you and make up some BS about a birthday or somethin, I think you know how this is going. Another way is to find some skank ass ho and take her home. Maybe you can tell her your some big shot or something, it definitely helps if she is, how do I say, Stupid. Have her do a little show for you and bango tango lap dance for free. Or you can always pull the classic dine and ditch but maybe for the occasion we'll call it dance and prance. And one last option is to throw up on the ho while giving you the dance, and while she's throwing a hissy fit about being puked on, grab the money out of her ass crack, put it in your sock,(hidden and protected) and then count your money after the bouncer throws your ass out. This last option may be the best bet since it has the opportunity for you to actually make money. Just be sure to take off quickly when ejected.
Skeet Skeet Skeet,
Mike
Also: Joke of the Millennium goes to a buddy named "Dave" who said this maybe 8 or 9 years ago.
"What do Acne and Michael Jackson have in common?"
Wait For It
Hold
Wait For It
"They both wait till your Thirteen to come all over your face"
Genius
Once again please send all inquiries to MikeHasTheAnswer@gmail.com
Thank you for your time.
My C2E2 Schedule
8 years ago
In response:
ReplyDeleteHow am I heartless?
Maybe a tad inconsiderate or mean, but seriously what has Michael Jackson done for me. Nothing. Singing and dancing doesn't make up for a scary human being. At least Steve Irwin contributed to the world by making discoveries and furthering the exploration of the scientific world.
Thank You for reading.
Mike